"Never write a sentence you've already read." - Oscar Wilde
North By Northwestern
30 Controversial Stars Who Are No-Brainers for the Hall of Fame
What's a tarnished name to a star?
Just get some thick white-out.
The 50 Biggest Disappointments in Sports History
Disappointments come in many packages.
These just have to be the big ones.
The 25 Sexiest Offseason WAGs
So, it's not their boy's season.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't see them.
50 Superstar Career Defining Moments
From Neil Leifer, Sports Illustrated
Every superstar has a great résumé.
But how do we remember them?
One shining moment.
The 30 Most Embarrassing Plays in Sports History
Yes, even real men can blush.
But these guys look like Clifford the Dog.
Laugh it off.
50 Biggest International Sports Moments in U.S. History
Sports are the ultimate unifier.
Especially when they conquer the world.
The 100 Most Overrated Athletes of All Time
Very tough to downgrade 100 people.
Prepare for ruffled feathers.
NBA Mock Draft 2011: Amidst March Madness, Could Kemba Walker Go No. 1?
Kemba blew up the Big East.
Will his hot play help him in the draft?
Walk this way.
2011 NBA Draft: The Biggest Risers and Fallers Leading Up To March Madness
Draft day will change a person's life.
Make it for the best.
Kobe Bryant, Stephen Curry and the 20 Best NBA Progenies
Like father, like son, they say.
Whatever it takes to keep the name alive.
NBA Trade Deadline: Complete Grades for All Teams on Every Deal and Rumor
What a terrific Thursday.
Every team did their work.
NBA Slam-Dunk Contest: The 15 Greatest Dunk Contest Fields of All Time
2011 has quite the class.
How do they stack up against the greats?
The 50 Funniest Sports Quotes Of All Time
Stupid, irreverent, hilarious.
What does it take to be funny?
Laugh it up.
The Top 25 College Stars Who Were Busts in the NBA
Jimmer Fredette lights up college basketball.
Will he join the NBA history of busts?
Feast or famine.
NBA Power Rankings: Manu Ginobili and Each Team's Best Second-Round Draft Steal
Manu Ginobili was a amazing find.
But was he the biggest sleeper?
How To Throw The Best Coaching Tantrum
Bob Knight used to be the king.
But his peons are learning.
Carmelo Anthony Trade Rumors: 10 Teams In the Running With Nets Out of Picture
Carmelo is on the move.
With or without the Nets' Bond villain.
Land the fish.
Los Angeles Lakers: Did They Make The Worst Blowouts in Sports History?
A 55-point win is normally amazing.
But it's not close to the best blowout.
Beat the drum.
Best of 2010: Top 10 Los Angeles Lakers Moments of the Year
2010 shined in purple and gold.
So what shined brightest?
Remember the good.
Miami Heat: LeBron James' 10 Most Controversial Comments
He's a great player.
And an even better talker.
NBA Power Rankings: Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and the Top 30 Players From 2010
This season has seen some great performances.
But the usual suspects don't top the list.
Feel the love.
Los Angeles Lakers Vs. Miami Heat: How the Lakers Can Win on Christmas Day
They haven't been great on Christmas.
But Santa's got a surprise this year.
Ho ho ho.
Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant and the Worst Fashion Statements In Sports
For professional men,
These guys certainly can't dress.
The Funniest Bowl Game Names of All-Time
The title is actually wrong.
It's the Toshiba Funniest Bowl Game Names of All-Time Presented By Verizon
Los Angeles Lakers: What Andrew Bynum's Return Means for Kobe Bryant and Co.
The Lakers need a shot of life.
Bynum's the bartender.
The 50 Best Women Of World Football and Reasons to Love The Game
America has been down on soccer.
Here's 50 reasons to get up.
Kick it around.
LeBron James, Tim Tebow, Brett Favre and the Most Annoying Athletes
They are all pretty well-known.
But for the wrong reasons.
Hot and bothered.
Los Angeles Lakers: Why Pau Gasol, Not Kobe Bryant, Has Been the Team's MVP
The Lakers would be no where without Kobe.
But this year, they'd be even worse without Pau.
The Top 25 Most Embarrassing Sports Injuries
Sometimes, injury stories can be awesome.
These weren't those times.
Does The Los Angeles Lakers' Kobe Bryant Have One Of Sports' 25 Funniest Names?
He's named after Japanese meat.
But is that funny enough to qualify?
Laugh out loud.
Tom Brady, Brian Wilson & The 25 Most Awesome Beards In Playoff History
Good facial hair is a gift.
These fellas are blessed.
Be the beard.
College Football Rankings: Notre Dame Fighting Irish in the 20 Worst Teams?
The Irish could be out for the count.
But did they hit rock bottom?
No luck here.
New York Yankees, Miami Heat, Oakland Raiders & The 50 Most Hated Teams Ever
Some people wonder why I like hate.
Because it's my specialty.
PhD in Hateology
Miami Heat or Los Angeles Lakers: The NBA's Best Opening Week Games
Sure, you could watch every game.
Or you can just get this guide.
Maria Sharapova, Tiger Woods and the 25 Weirdest Athlete Couples Ever
Saying "I do" can be amazing.
Unless you are these people.
Feel the love.
Michael Vick, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James & The 100 Most Hated Athletes
Liking someone is fun.
But hating is better.
Los Angeles Lakers & Miami Heat To Play "Some Of The Greatest Basketball" Ever?
The NBA is as hyped as ever.
But will it live up to the hype?
Pray the best.
Top 25 Most Corrupt And Scandalous People And Events In Sports
Sure, scandals can be fun.
But not with these guys.
The 25 Least Manly Things in the Sporting World
There's nothing good about these.
We will take a man card for each.
Hand it over.
NBA Free Agents 2011: Carmelo Anthony and 10 Guys To Be Dealt Before Next Summer
Yes, these guys are good.
Good trade bait, that is.
Los Angeles Lakers Or Miami Heat: Who's Got The Better Bench?
We've heard about the starters.
But who's got the reserve tank?
Call for back up.
NFL Predictions For 2010 Season: Oakland Raiders and 10 Teams In Trouble
It may be early.
But these people should worry.
Does The Los Angeles Lakers Franchise Have The Best Starting 5 of All-Time?
So many great players.
But only five start for each team.
Who's in your five?
The Sports Bucket List: 25 Things Real Fans Must Do Before They Die
Death is a grim certainty.
So why not live it up on the way.
Los Angeles Lakers: Kobe Bryant Is The Solution To Team's Offseason Woes
The Lakers have problems.
But Kobe's got the answers.
Fantasy Football Rankings: 50 Best, Funniest Fantasy Football Team Names
Everyone needs a name.
But the best ones are remembered.
Make it count.
Fantasy Football Rankings: The NFL All-Sleeper Team
Sleep is a beautiful thing.
Now mix in fantasy football.
Cristiano Ronaldo: 50 Gorgeous Women He Should Date
Keep your complaints to yourself.
Just stare and enjoy.
2010 College Football Predictions: 10 Must Watch Games From Opening Week
College Football is finally here.
Break out the couches!
NBA Rumors: Carmelo Anthony Can Rival Miami Heat With The Chicago Bulls
He's got all the leverage.
But he should use it wisely.
Paul Pierce & The Top 10 Biggest Smack Talk Fails In Sports History
Some say talk is trash.
These guys redefine trash.
Los Angeles Lakers Kobe Bryant's Top 10 Dunks For His Birthday
He's been great for so long.
But what really stands out?
Throw it down.
Mountain West Conference and Conference USA Merger Caused By BYU?
The Pac-10 tried and failed.
But this super conference could work.
Connect the dots.
Brett Favre, Derek Jeter and The Top 20 Athlete Movie Cameos With Video
Athletes can be funny on the field.
On the screen, they are money.
Tim Tebow Autographs Cause Problems With FOX Sports
Tebow hasn't played a down.
But he's already controversial.
Shocker of the century.
Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods & 13 Sports Superstitions On Friday the 13th
Superstitions are normally harmless.
But these could get ugly.
No black cats.
Recasting Jersey Shore with Athletes like Darrelle Revis and Ron Artest
It's hard to replace these icons.
But athletes are big divas too.
They're taking over.
NBA Power Rankings 2010: 10 Biggest Choke Artists in the NBA
We all love the clutch players.
But heckling is more fun.
Who's gagging now?
Miami Heat: Can The Los Angeles Lakers Record Be Broken?
It's stood for nearly 30 years.
Can it be shattered?
Pigs don't fly.
The Los Angeles Lakers Are Why Shaquille O'Neal Chose The Boston Celtics
He once was my favorite.
Now, he's out for revenge.
Best served cold.
College Football Preseason Rankings: The Hottest Fanbases of the Big Ten
I attend a Big 10 school.
But there's clearly no bias.
NFL Predictions For 2010 Season: Oakland Raiders To Take AFC West?
They've been so bad recently.
But that was the past.
NFL Predictions For 2010 Season: Denver Broncos, Don't Start Tim Tebow
I'm no fan of Tebow.
But he deserves a shot.
Give him time.
NBA Free Agent Rumors: Why Shaquille O'Neal Can't Find a Team
He used to be my favorite.
Now, he can be someone else's.
Los Angeles Lakers News: 5 Reasons Kobe Bryant Needs Shannon Brown Back
He was critical last year.
The Lakers can't let him go.
Top 10 Athletes' (Not Named LeBron James) Beers That Need To Be Made
LeBron's not deserving.
These guys should have the honor.
Terrell Owens Helps Bengals' Arsenal, Raises Cincinnati's AFC North Odds
He finally found a home.
And how sweet it is.
NBA Free Agents 2011: Carmelo Anthony, Stay With The Denver Nuggets
Carmelo's got a decision.
The best choice is out West.
Can Colt McCoy Replace LeBron James and Revive Cleveland? Be Patient!
His Egoness is gone.
Can Colt replace him?
Wait and see.
Reggie Bush Must Return His Heisman Trophy To Save the USC Trojans Face
I'm no fan of USC.
But I wish Bush would help them.
Give it up.
2010 NBA Rumors & Free Agency: Grading the Los Angeles Lakers Signings
The Lakers have been busy.
But was it worth it?
MLB Trade Rumors: Astros' Roy Oswalt Must Stop Demands; Go To Phillies
The Wizard of Os is great.
Just not at reasoning.
Pack your bags.
Chad Ochocinco's Ultimate Catch: 25 Free Agent WAGs To Hook Him Up With
He's a bachelor on a bad show.
Let's find him some true love.
Make a match.
The Tennessee Titans Get NFL's Biggest Steal with Chris Johnson
Vitamin C.J. finally resigns.
But at a bargain price.
2010 NBA Free Agency: Are the LA Clippers Tracy McGrady's Best Choice?
He's injured and past his prime.
Sounds like a perfect Clip.
Save the career.
LeBron James or Brett Favre: Who Has the Biggest Ego?
Both have huge heads.
But who's the real egomaniac?
2010 NFL Free Agents: Terrell Owens' Top-Five Destinations
He's not the most lovable guy.
But he can still ball.
Where he falls.
2010 NBA Free Agency: The 10 Worst Contracts, Non-LeBron James Edition
People make bad decisions.
But these take the cake.
Sign me up.
The 50 Hottest WAGs of All-Time
It may be smut.
Very funny smut.
Feast your eyes.
2010 MLB All-Star Game: Comparing American & National League Starters
It may be an exhibition.
But it definitely matters.
The key guys.
LeBron James Rumors: Crazy Things to Happen at James' Decision
Only one thing better than the decision.
LeBron getting upstaged.
I can't wait.
LeBron James Decision: Picking Miami Heat & Dwyane Wade Kills New York Knicks
Cleveland's in trouble.
But New York is boned.
East Coast Bias.
LeBron James Decision: King James and Dwyane Wade on the Miami Heat Bad for All
You may like the Super Friends.
But I don't.
Top 20 Celebrity Sports Fans: Kim Kardashian, Jay-Z, Jessica Alba & More
We all love celebs.
But teams love these ones.
See a star.
NBA Free Agency 2010: Chris Bosh, Go To The Cavaliers With LeBron James
Chris Bosh is a great player.
But a businessman?
Not so much.
NBA Summer League 2010: Improve the L.A. Clippers Without LeBron James
It's hard to write about the Clips.
But I love challenges.
What a hoot.
NBA Free Agency 2010: Top Destinations For Kyle Korver
He's a knockdown shooter.
Just ask Mark Jackson
Shoot the J.
NBA Free Agency 2010: Top Destinations For Allen Iverson
He used to be amazing.
But now he's just sad.
NBA Free Agency 2010: Top Destinations for Jermaine O'Neal
He's just been awful.
But will someone try again?
NBA Free Agency 2010: Top Destinations For Earl Watson
UCLA loved him.
Could the Lakers too?
Find a pearl.
NBA Free Agency 2010: The Top Destinations for Ray Allen
I may hate the Celtics.
But this guy is valuable.
Sign him up.
2010 NBA Free Agency: NY Knicks Can Win Minus LeBron James & Dwyane Wade
It's hard to right about them.
The Knicks suck the life out of you.
But I tried.
2010 NBA Free Agency: Top 5 Places for Dirk Nowitzki; Joining LeBron?
Dirk just opted out.
Let the guessing begin!
Where will he go?
The Top 20 Worst Sounds In Sports: Vuvuzelas, Black Eyed Peas And More!
They're painfully loud.
They can ruin sports.
Take a listen.
2010 NBA Draft Grades: Golden State Warriors Miss With Ekpe Udoh
Udoh's got game.
Just not right for the Bay.
NBA Draft Grades: Los Angeles Lakers Go Neutral With Ebanks and Caracter
Some new Lakers blood.
Comes out neutral.
Just like Switzerland.
2010 NBA Draft Live Coverage, Grades, Analysis, Trades, Picks & 1st Round Recap
My favorite non-sporting event.
Take that, Trick Pool.
Take your pick.
NBA: Top 5 Chris Paul Trades; Could He Join LeBron On The N.Y. Knicks?
Chris Paul shipping out?
The Bees may do it.
Say it ain't so.
NBA Free Agents 2010: L.A. Lakers Need Answers To Return To NBA Finals
Yes, they are champs.
But they have work to do.
2010 FIFA World Cup Results, Scores: Ivory Coast Vs. Brazil Live Blog And Recap
First time doing a professional live blog.
Way too much fun.
Twas a massacre.
FIFA World Cup 2010: What the U.S. Needs to Advance from Group C
So many options.
So let's just pray.
Just win, win, & win.
2010 FIFA World Cup: Players to Watch in England vs. Algeria
More Americans may watch
this than the Slovenia match.
2010 FIFA World Cup: USA vs. Slovenia: Top Players
While the U.S. got robbed,
here were some key players.
Check the method.
NCAA Football: Utah Has To Join The Pac-10, Even As A Consolation To Texas
The Pac-10 may not have won,
But Utah surely did.
Meet the new kids.
2010 NBA Finals Game 7: Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics Matchups
Game 7 in the NBA Finals.
It all comes down to this.
The last stand.
NCAA Football: Texas Saves Big 12, Oklahoma, Texas A&M; Kills Pac-10 Dreams
So Texas won't be in the Pac-10.
No one wants a super conference.
Here are the winners.
2010 FIFA World Cup: United States Vs. England Top Players
Biggest Soccer Match for the U.S.
Who will come up big?
Predict the future.
2010 FIFA World Cup: France Vs. Uruguay Top Players
The game ended 0-0
So I guess these guys weren't so great.
Tom Izzo The Right Coach for Cleveland Cavaliers, Not LeBron James
Tom Izzo could be a Cav.
But without LeBron?
It could happen.
Pac-10 Expansion: Colorado Just Isn't Enough
First Breaking News Story.
Sadly, it was old news by then.
USC Football Sanctions Are Great For Pac-10: Ask The University of Texas
USC is in trouble,
But the Pac-10 still wins.
Here's your punishment.
NBA Finals: Los Angeles Lakers' Derek Fisher Is Clutch, as Usual
The Lakers have a unexpected star.
A Fish called Derek.
How The Los Angeles Lakers Can Steal Game 3 On The Boston Celtics' Court
Game 2 was just sickening.
Good the Dr. Ross has the remedy.
Danny Ferry Resigns, So LeBron James Is The Cleveland Cavaliers New GM
Sorry Bill Russell.
But LeBron's got your brand of power.
The Worst NBA Free Agent Rumors: LeBron James & Dwyane Wade a Bad Pair?
Everyone can make their guesses.
I just tell you which ones are dumb.
Figure it out.
Roger Federer Versus Robin Soderling: The Not So Shocking French Open
Roger Federer lost.
The NBA Needs To Stop LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh's Meeting
Collusion is afoot.
Sounds like the work of the Super Friends.
The Top 5 Los Angeles Lakers Versus Boston Celtics NBA Finals Match-ups
How do you pick a winner?
Break it down, white boy.
Michael Vick and Memorial Day: The Top 5 Worst Athletes at Airports
What do the Whizzinator, Marijuana
and a .45 caliber have in common?
Not my wishlist.
The LeBron James Rule: The NBA's Tampering Temper
Shhhh. Don't say LeBron.
Damn, now I owe 20 G's.
A Match Made In Heaver: Oswalt Should Join The Boys In Blue
Oswalt to the Dodgers?
Not as ridiculous as it seems.
Here's the pitch.
The Magic 8 Ball: Why The Titans Need Chris Johnson
I call him "Vitamin CJ."
The Titans need their dose.
Run it down.
Exploiting Europe: The MLS's Best Hope For Fans
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images
My first article on soccer.
Better than Freddy Adu's debut.
Are You Dreaming Green?
My #1 birthday present:
Give me the Celtics again.
Score some knowledge.
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